


Strength and What it Means to Me

by Nekosume



Category: Naruto
Genre: Hyuuga Hinata-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:13:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekosume/pseuds/Nekosume
Summary: Hinata is not yet three years old when she first learns what it means to be without strength.
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In the manga, Hinata's birthday, Neji's sealing, Hizashi's seal activation, the festival, and her kidnapping happen basically all in one day. It makes sense, as Neji is telling Naruto basically his childhood story in 5 minutes, but I felt it all was a pretty big coincidence. So I have stretched it out a bit.

It is between the age of two and three that Hinata first learns what strength is, or rather what lack of strength means.  
  
It is another early morning and she is sparring with her father. Her feet slide across the floor, extra steps slipping in due to exhaustion and clumsiness. Her father's eyes catch it all and snaps his disappointment at her.  
  
Rocking back on her feet she breathes hard.  
  
Today her cousin Neji is watching her train. He is but a year older than her and leans against his father's side. His smile is wide and sweet, while her palms are swept away with sharp, stinging grace. If she had time to think, she would linger on the love in his eyes when he looks at her.  
  
Instead all her mind can muster is how she is weak against her father. Not that she every expected to win, she supposes. He is older and so strong. All she wants is for him to smile at her the way he does at her mother. Soft and easy, the way her mother does when Hinata finally manages to pour her tea without burning her fingertips. The way Neji laughs at her puffed cheeks. The way her uncle, well how her uncle looks like her father sometimes, their twin faces mirrors of one another, begrudgingly fond.  
  
It is with that thought she lunges forward, palm outstretched reaching for her father's chest. And she is so, so close when her father flickers out of vision and she is pushed behind his solid form.  
  
A scream explodes into the air, then cries and she can't see anything behind the tangle of her father's legs. She edges around and there on the floor is her Uncle. Mouth agape and Byakugan veins distended, his is the face of pain. And it confuses her as Neji cries and stares with his pale white eyes at her with betrayal and she does not know what is going on.  
  
Her father says something and she cannot hear it past the sound of wind in her ears.  
  
Her mouth is hollow and although she wants to say something, nothing comes of it but puffs and puffs of hot air.  
  
She knows, in a deep little box in her brain, that the Branch members of her family wear a cursed seal. It is a small pattern on the forehead of her sisters and brothers often hidden behind the metal of a hitai-ate. She has seen one, once, when her guardian Ko was being particularly kind, and she had asked softly one night. And Hinata does know what it does, hears her father's words booming in her ears that it is to protect the clan and their secrets, to ensure the village's safety. What she doesn't know is why her Uncle is on the ground, and why there is a haunting green glow coming from his seal.  
  
Uncle Hizashi's eyes meet hers with something that her childish mind cannot understand, and then he stumbles out of the room. Neji scurries after, and in him she can see part of something like fear. The tap of the paper door meeting its frame is the first thing she can hear again.  
  
White meets white and her father places a hand on her shoulder. Cool air touches her face and she feels sticky and exhausted.  
  
“Hinata.” his eyes have always been whiter than hers and even without the Byakugan she has always felt like her father can look through her. He opens his mouth as if tasting a thought, and thinks better of it. “Let us resume.”  
  
Through the rest of the training match she is sloppy, even worse than before. Her feet dive her into the floor more than her father's sure and measured hits. When she is finally released from the training room to meditate she has never felt she has needed it before.  
  
It is the middling of fall and fiery leaves whirl around her. The thunk of bamboo and splish of water intersperse with the sounds of creatures rustling and dry leaves breaking. Cold air burns her lungs.  
  
Hinata is not yet three when she first feels her world spin a little off kilter. A Branch member sweeps by her, rake poised and at the ready to return the Hyuga gardens to its proper cleanliness. As his eyes, old and blank meet hers, Hinata wonders if she will find her center this morning.


	2. Chapter 2

It is later that afternoon with her thoughts swimming and hands twitching that Hinata finds any clarity. She has been sent away with exasperation by her tutors and she stutters apologies as she pushes into the tea room. Her mother's arms wrap around her and she is ensconced in soft warm silk. Burrowing into her mother's chest she inhales jasmine and chrysanthemum.  
  
“I have heard what happened today, little one” Her mother murmurs into her hair. Fingers light and graceful pull her into the room and upon her lap.  
  
“Mama. I-I. I d-d-don't understand.” Hinata presses her eyes closed and hiccups. Her father would be upset that she is crying. She is young, but already Hinata is more expressive than her Branch peers, and in a clan of stoic pride, her tears have no room.  
  
Hinata presses her ear to her mother's chest and listens to the soft beats and flutters of her heart. Moments pass and Hinata's breathing evens into rhythm with Hinako's heart.  
  
“Your father wanted to protect you.” She heaves a deep breath and Hinata's head is brought up to meet her mother's eyes. “Your father will always protect you, Hinata.”  
  
“I-I know.” Or at least, she thinks she knows. After every spar Hinata drips with sweat and her palms sting. But she knows her father has never injured her beyond bruises and rattled bones. She presses her head back into her mother's chest. “B-B-but, mama.” Her fingers knead soft fabric. “What was father pro-protecting me from?”  
  
Hinata's mother has always had a melodic heart. Where her father's, in the rare moments she can hold her ear to his chest, is steady as a drum, Hinako's heart plays music. It strums and vibrates like a bass string. And sometimes when Hinata listens close she can hear the ocean, just as she can in the seashell Ko brought her. It is now, when her mother is thinking deep and her breath is held, that Hinata can hear the tide.  
  
“Sometimes we hurt those we love, even if we do not mean to, little one. We are a clan. We are a family. And I promise you that your father, your uncle, little Neji, and I love you, and each other very much. But we are also Main and Branch house.” Her mother's voice takes on the lilt it does when she tells stories. Of gilded winged birds and gallant samurai.  
  
Hinata closes her eyes and whispers, “The Branch house protects us. Protects th-the Byakugan.”  
  
“Yes, sunshine. And they are very brave for it. But protecting is a difficult thing. It wears at the soul and is a burden. It takes a certain strength to protect, Hinata. And not everyone is made for it, not everyone can handle it.” She purses her lips and murmurs, “At least not all of the time.”  
  
“And it is our job, as the Main branch to ensure the posterity of the Hyuga. It is our responsibility to ensure we are ready and willing to serve our village. Even if it means giving those who have faltered a little push.”  
  
Brushing her hair back from her forehead Hinako holds Hinata. “You're family will never hurt you, Hinata. Your father and I will make sure of it.”  
  
Remembering skinned knees and closed tenketsu, Hinata nods. Her eyes, not yet with the power of the Byakugan, see her Uncle screaming.  
  
“Why was Un-Uncle Hizashi in pain, ma ma?”  
  
“Because, sunshine,” And Hinata hears the rush of the ocean as it runs into the shore over and over, “even he can be weak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent forever trying to find Hinata's mom's name and came up with nothing. Yay for generic H names. She gets so little characterization except for similar to Hinata and dies.


	3. Chapter 3

The wind is chilly as Hinata slips into the kitchen of the Hyuga compound. The room is dark as she pops open the fridge and rummages through each shelf.   
Today, Hinata is happy to say, is her third birthday. She is a full inch taller than when she was measured in fall, and the Hyuga medic was impressed with her bone structure. In light of her increased training he recommended a higher caloric intake for little Hinata, and she is going to take full advantage of it this morning.   
Her mother is not yet awake, a counsel meeting took much of her time the other night. But Hinata knows the recipe by heart. The recipe is her favorite food, and one of the few things the Branch house allows her mother to cook. Hinata doesn't fully understand why it's so bad to want to cook, but it doesn't matter! Because today she gets her all favorite cinnamon rolls.   
The aroma, the buttery velvet frosting. Plush dough that almost flakes like pastry, but bounces like bread. Urgh. She cannot wait.   
Arms full of butter and eggs shuffles to the counter. At this point Hinata can't quite see over the counter's lip, but she will not be stopped today. With footwork her father would gawk over Hinata hooks the pale white stool from the corner and hops up to arrange her ingredients. Eggs on the left, as her mother can crack them one handed as she creams the butter.   
She grabs the warm cinnamon and the sweet brown sugar and reach, reach, reaches for the flour. Why is it always on the top shelf?   
With a small huff of victory, and a small sacrifice of cinnamon to the floor, Hinata hefts everything into place. Now a few more things, and a bowl! A big shiny bowl.   
She's two arms and one leg deep in the cabinet when she finds the perfect mixing bowl. It is also when she hears the soft padding of feet.   
Hinata squeeks and ducks behind the counter. No one should be up this early! Kiko better not be coming in her to ruin her fun, today is her birthday and she will have cinnamon buns. Please.  
Peaking around the corner she sees Neji's long brown hair. One hand is tucked into Uncle Hizashi's and the other is rubbing sleepy grit from his eyes. Hinata admires his wide eyes, as best as she can from her position, tucked behind the doorway and crouched low. Neji has always looked like the perfect Hyuga, the only things out of place are his wide smile and bare forehead. Only her father and mother do not wear their hitae-ate above their eyes.   
Well, there is her too, but Hinata has short hair and lilac eyes, she already sticks out like a sore thumb. But back to the point, Neji is the consummate Hyuga.   
Fingers running around the rim of the bowl, she wonders, if he would like a cinnamon roll.   
It is after making half a mess and half the beginnings of a yeast dough that her mother glides into the room. She takes in Hinata's bedclothes and rumpled hair, coated in flour and egg, with little more than an amused sigh. The paddle spoon is deftly removed from Hinata's fingers and the rest of the Cinnamon roll making goes smoothly.   
Hinako's dough is in the oven, she made it the other night and had been proofing quietly. Hinata's dough sits on the bottom shelf of the fridge. It may raise over time and become something worthwhile by tomorrow, but she doubts she will be allowed to eat it. She may be able to finagle the empty calories and sugar today, but this is absolutely not what her medic meant by she should eat more.   
The paste of cinnamon, sugar, and butter glimmers on the dough as it turns golden and mouthwatering. It smells heavenly and, and. She has to wait thirty minutes and leave this kitchen right now so Kaede can clean this mess up.   
It has been two hours since she woke up and today is looking to be one of her best birthdays ever. It'd be hard to be too bad because she sure doesn't remember birthday number one. The only memory of birthday number two is white eyes and disappointment. 

In another room the smell of ink and chakra lay heavy in the air. It is in low tones that Uncle Hizashi enumerates the duties of the Branch house.   
Neji's forehead is wrapped in clean white bandages. It is for the second time that his smile falters when thinking of his dear cousin Hinata. He is practically her older brother and watching her grow and try so hard is bright spot in his days.   
“I have always loved my brother. And for him I serve.” His father lays his hand on his shoulder and the weight makes the room spin. In the house of white eyes Neji feels like he finally knows why his peers do not act like children. “For Hinata, you will do the same.”  
For the first time since he has watched Hinata grow, from tiny being that could barely crawl to the clumsy little girl with the bright smile, Neji thinks of her as wanting.


End file.
